Published on 2025-03-09 by Teagan Pacheco
"When great souls die, the air around us becomes light, rare, and sterile. We breathe briefly. Our eyes briefly see with a hurtful clarity. Our memory suddenly sharpened, examines, gnaws on kind words unsaid, promised walks never taken." - Maya Angelou, When Great Trees Fall
Frank Pacheco, my dad, was born in Troy, Illinois, on December 31st, 1970. He came from very little and was given even less to begin his callous youth. He learned how to do things quickly and take a beating even quicker. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." - 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
He experienced betrayal, heartache, and dejection far sooner than faithfulness, joy, and delight. I can’t imagine the anguish of being told by your parents, teachers, and classmates that you are worthless, a loser, a mistake, or a waste of time. My dad didn’t finish high school, having dropped out around 15 years old to lay asphalt and get away from people who seemingly hated his involuntary existence. While some of my dad’s early associates were not quite ideal citizens, they accepted him, and they looked out for one another - flaws and all.
Not long in years, but long in that grueling life, my dad met my mom. She is rightly prudent, and after many enjoyable phone calls running late into the night, she accepted him - flaws and all - and showed him love, the likes of which were utterly foreign to him. Community, fellowship, and eventually, family saved my dad from going down an irreversible track to damnation. Having found his lifeline, it pains him to see his old, once hunky-dory companions end up addicts, convicts, homeless, or dead because of their poor judgment. His altruism is unmatched. I find it paradoxical that he had so much compassion and was given so little.
His creed is unmistakable. When he became an employee, there was no doubt he would be the best one of them. When he became a husband, there was no disbelief he would be the best one of them. When he became a father, there was no hesitation he would be the best one of them! When he became a grandfather, there was no apprehension that he would be the best one of them! When he becomes an everlasting memory, there will be no confusion that he will be the best one of them. “Permanence, perseverance, and persistence despite all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: it is this that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” - Thomas Carlyle
My dad has never set unrealistic expectations for me. He doesn’t need me to be a star player or an Olympic athlete. He doesn’t need me to earn lots of money. He doesn’t need me to have any title other than “son” to love me, be proud of me, and cheer for me. There are no requirements, milestones, or metrics I have to beat to earn his time and attention. When he is otherwise occupied, it is for unselfish purposes. He taught me by example that what you do today affects your future. Pay attention. He tells me, “You got to pay attention, buddy.”